Bitter suites to Love.

moved. :)

2010-08-22T11:40:00.000+08:00

christabelcampbell.tumblr.com

fear.

2010-06-18T00:42:00.000+08:00

let yourself let go.

Noise: -

--
If good intentions are combined with stupidity, it is impossible to outthink them.

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Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

stress

2010-06-15T15:11:00.000+08:00

some cry, some eat; I don't sleep.

Noise: any other world, MIKA

--
Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.

Get Free Random Signatures for BlackBerry at www.getempower.com
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

tired.

2010-05-31T01:51:00.001+08:00

disappointed.

Noise: -

miss you.

2010-04-28T07:01:00.002+08:00

Oh San Francisco. I belong with you.

Noise: What A Feeling by Irene Cara :)

unsettled questions.

2010-04-09T01:19:00.001+08:00

was life possibly better, or more bearable with the mountain spilling from under the carpet?

what do I do if I don't agree with how I'm wired?

I don't get it. why? why??

eh?

Noise: buzzzzzz.

status reads: is not happy.

2010-04-04T17:15:00.004+08:00

It sucks to feel like you're not wanted.

It sucks to feel like that despite knowing that it isn't true.

but then it's assuring to know that you're always fine in your own bubble. alone.

Noise: Saturated Love by The Locust

ssshhhh.

2010-03-31T18:10:00.003+08:00

When I listen to music, that is all I want to be able to hear. Increase the volume and watch the rest of the world pass by without noise. Just music. Shut it out.

Thank technology for good earphones.
I like being the outsider.

Noise: His Glory Appears by Hillsong

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

I want to stop.

2010-03-22T16:56:00.004+08:00

'How are you?'
'I'm OK'

... I'm always OK.

You were given life, isn't it about time you took it?

Noise: Again And Again by Bob Mould

moments like these.

2010-03-20T10:12:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I get scared of how sad I can be.

Noise: Alone in Kyoto by Air
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

open up.

2010-03-10T01:22:00.004+08:00

Noise: Are You Alright by Lucinda Williams.

distracting.

2010-03-09T12:57:00.004+08:00

when I'm fortunate enough, I am alone.

it only works that way.

Noise: Hurt by Johnny Cash

pangs.

2010-02-25T12:02:00.006+08:00

When I was younger, I'd starve myself out of spite. I had less money, and thought, fine, whatever, I won't eat then.

So today when I don't eat, I feel richer. I feel empowered.

I feel like hey, at least I can control that.

It's sick, but you are wired up when you are young,
and unfortunately it's etched in your subconscious forever.

Noise: Willow's Song by Doves

unaffected by death.

2010-02-22T10:03:00.007+08:00

"At the bottom of the Empire State Building, the body of 23 year old Evelyn McHale reposes calmly in grotesque bier, her falling body punched into the top of a limousine."

- Robert C. Miles for Life Magazine. May 1947

One morning in 1947, Evelyn leapt from the 86th floor observation deck of the Empire State Building to her immediate death. Remarkably, even after crumpling the sheet of metal and broken glass of the limousine she landed on, she shows no evidence of trauma and appears unruffled. The result is this picture taken just minutes after her death - the calm gaze in her face, crossed legs and white leather gloves allowing this picture to almost pass off as part of an 'edgy' fashion shoot.

I guess it's like what Emma Thompson's character says in Stranger Than Fiction. When you jump from a building, it's rarely the impact that actually kills you... Her face is so serene, so at peace...

And I think it's because when she died,

she could feel the wind against her face.

Noise: I Need To Give This Broken Heart Away by The Beautiful Girls

hey you.

2010-01-29T18:35:00.005+08:00

SOMETHING AMAZING

IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN.

so just... hang on.

Noise: Something Beautiful by Tracy Bonham.

they'll keep searching.

2010-01-26T11:19:00.005+08:00

It's comforting, yet disturbing. The faces of the people around, be they friends or strangers, all have an existential hunger for meaning in life. It makes me unnaturally happy to know that they are searching because even though I am glad they want more, for some reason I suspect they won't ever be content.

On a separate note, I find that over a period of time, if I have been more introspective, it's almost like I forget how to socialize. So when I am in a big group, I have to start learning all over again.

It's tiring. I'd rather be alone.

Noise: Strangers Again by Ari Hest.

driving down the highway.

2010-01-08T02:41:00.002+08:00

I LIKE WHERE WE ARE.

HERE.

Noise: All the Same by Sick Puppies.

Honesty.

2010-01-05T16:15:00.005+08:00

They have said that it is hard to believe a man is telling the truth, if you would lie if you were in his position.

It's true.

Which is why it is so refreshing to believe someone, because you know you'd tell the truth too.

'Which of us is dreaming,

and who will wake up screaming?'

Noise: Parachute by Sean Lennon

It's curious to wonder...

2009-12-23T15:05:00.003+08:00

Why bother trying to impress a world that does not care about you?

Who are you?

You are nothing.

If you died tomorrow, would the clockwork stop?

Noise: Wild World by Beth Orton

and the truth is...

2009-12-17T10:01:00.006+08:00

... that I miss you.

Noise: Pagan Angel and a Borrowed Car, Iron & Wine.

Education.

2009-12-08T09:18:00.004+08:00

I have nothing against it, but so what if you are a scholar, or have multiple degrees. It's not about what qualifications you have, but what you do with it that really counts for something.

Do you have an education, or a piece of paper?

Noise: Slave to the Wage, Placebo.

God.

2009-12-03T14:39:00.001+08:00

I can be such an idiot sometimes. What the fuck.

I go through bouts.

2009-11-26T03:53:00.004+08:00

True.

Stop escaping into your virtual world. It's not real.

Noise: I Go Deep by Jim Rivers.

(sigh, Nicole...)

press pause, please.

2009-11-14T04:40:00.006+08:00

I am so desperate to live an interesting life. My life is worthwhile and interesting, but I just have spent so much time focusing on getting it that way that even though it's happened, I just haven't realized it because I can't remember what it was like before.

That said, even if I stop to appreciate what I have, I soon realize that sometimes I am tired and want to go home. Maybe my life was more justified when I made less of a purposeful effort; but I'm so afraid of fading into oblivion, of having nothing to show for my time here.

I am so afraid of being pointless.

reverse effect.

2009-09-30T04:26:00.001+08:00

is it strange that the more I live, the less I value my life?

...

2009-09-03T06:13:00.002+08:00

... Actually, no, I take that back. I do feel pain. I just wonder what it would be like to admit it.

Hi.

2009-09-03T05:59:00.003+08:00

It's been awhile.

I don't really have anything of value to say... I just thought I'd send out a thought to the universe.

I've realized that I have been so disconnected that I no longer feel pain. And I've recently wondered what that must feel like. Real, gut-wrenching, heart-breaking pain.

Noise: I'm Waking Up To Us by Belle And Sebastian

Live below your means.

2009-06-07T16:05:00.002+08:00

I'm 21. I have a full time job. I shop. I eat. I take taxis. And the day before I get my pay, I find that I am always broke. Why? Because I can never find the discipline to live below my means. But I'm getting there... I'm almost there. I'm learning to live a comfortable life, and not a wasteful one. I'm learning that it's pointless to try and live life to fool myself into thinking that wealth is measured in material objects. A Ferragamo bag, a silk robe, a pair of Jimmy Choo's... they are beautiful, but they don't mean anything. I'm learning that it is not about spending to impress others.

Manage your money wisely so that your money does not manage you. Always live well below your means, and redefine your definition of 'rich'. Because wealth is about being able to live comfortably, and then helping somebody else to do the same.

Here, but not here.

2009-03-29T22:48:00.005+08:00

'I'm aware of my tongue... It's an awful feeling!

Every now and then I become aware that I have a tongue inside my mouth, and then it starts to feel lumped up...

I can't help it... I can't put it out of my mind...

I keep thinking about where my tongue would be if I weren't thinking about it, and then I can feel it sort of pressing against my teeth...'

- Linus, Peanuts

Recently, more frequently, I have become particularly aware of my physical body in its entirety, the world in its entirety, reality in its entirety. It feels like suddenly waking up from a falling dream, or almost bumping into somebody upon turning a corner, or like you're being chased by a bear even though you are sitting still. It's like the simple fact that I am actually real and breathing suddenly hits me, with the same freshness of an epiphany each time. It leaves me a bit giddy, gets my heart beating a bit faster, produces a slight acidic taste in my mouth and causes a brief surge of clammy, bubbling anxiety, like the initial stages of a panic attack. But I look around and see that everything is actually OK. It doesn't really match up. The moment quickly passes, but leaves me in a sort of confused state.

The thing about such moments of heightened awareness that bothers me isn't so much the dizzying headrush that accompanies them, but the implication that the rest of the time, I might as well be asleep, since I am essentially cruising around on autopilot, scarcely even aware that I am...here.

The men and women in secret.

2007-08-15T12:40:00.000+08:00

I wanted to journal my thoughts today, to etch them in pen and paper like I so rarely do. I wanted to write them down in an indecipherable script, or use some kind of shorthand that only I can understand. But here I am, typing clearly, whispering my words. I'm not sure why I want to write this down, what to release to this digital world, or why the stirring and repetitive wonderings of my memory alone is not enough. But my observations of the passers-by, their ambiguous thoughts on love, life and lust, of things that were over and would not come back yet the belief that they were still vividly present somewhere within reach, these things almost forcefully guide my tone as my perspective manifests.

I took a long walk home last night, partially to think about the phone conversation I had before and also to reward myself with some quiet time. At one point I parked myself by a bench along a train station, perked a cigarette between my fingers, folded my legs and watched the rush hour leftovers hurry right past me. Around our lives there will always be hints and rumours and suggestions, and I wonder if it's just part of the time and place.

Everyone who walked by was carrying with them a heady aura of a second life which seemed half secret and half open, as if it was OK to know but not mention. I sat there and searched each face as it passed, trying to decipher what it might unwittingly reveal, straining to listen carefully to their thoughts for little nuances and clues to take a brief but substantial peek into the souls of these strangers. And for the brief moment that these precious ones allowed me insight into their world, I forgot my own.

For myself, I've learned never to disclose anything, and never even to acknowledge the moment when some new information was imparted. I seem to have mastered the act of behaving as though a mere pleasantry had been exchanged, one that never concerned me. The men and women in this literary country move about like players in a game of knowing and not knowing, pretence and disguise. I've learnt everything from these strangers who whizz by, those who guard their heart and thoughts with fierce protection.

But is it really just part of the time and place? Maybe in a different country or period people allow themselves to believe that you had no hidden and secret self unless you emphatically declared to the contrary. Maybe there's a culture out there... one of easy duplicity, the sense you'd get of those men and women as they casually withhold what matters to them the most. Wouldn't that be shocking.

I've never had such a strong affinity for the intrigue, yet I thrive in knowing secrets.
Because not to know would be to miss almost everything.

x

Noise: Saviour King, Hillsong.
Let now the lost be welcomed home.

New crossroad, new direction, new destination.

2007-05-31T22:42:00.000+08:00

So life is gratifying. I finally am on the road to achieving the financial freedom I have been secretly wishing and vocally praying for. It comes in the form of a job... A different kind of job. A non salary-paying kind of job.

My dad is also finally getting some butter on his hands as he releases his unreasonably suffocating grip on my life, particularly in the form of my passport. So I have travel freedom too, and I'm going to celebrate by traveling A LOT more this year. This month, actually. On the cards as of now is a three day two night Bintan break with some media folk. Some radio people, some magazine people. Then at the end of June I'm hoping to head to Melbourne and maybe drop by Sydney to say hi to some of the friendlies at action sports.

Henry and I are oddly better than ever. This whole distance thing is such a healthy balance. Although I do miss him insanely, I'm sure whoever is reading this doesn't want to believe there is a sappy teenager inside the practical realist that is me.

Speaking of age, I turn twenty in a couple of days. 11 days, to be exact. 11 June is the day I say goodbye to being a teenager. It was fun while it lasted.

That's all, really. Life hasn't dished out anything all that arresting, nothing that would make a sensational read. At least not in my book. Give it a month or so.

x
Noise: Last Request by Paolo Nutini
"Grant my last request and just let me hold you,
don't shrug your shoulders...
Lay down beside me.
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere,
but one last time let's go there..."

If you're my queen, it's a beautiful thing.

2007-04-06T21:44:00.000+08:00

Finally, in this remote villate, his quest ended.
There, by the fire, sat Truth.
Never had he seen an older, uglier woman.
"Are you Truth?"
The wizened, wrinkled hag nodded.
"What message can I take from you to the world?" he pleaded.
She replied, spitting into the fire,
"Tell them I am young and beautiful."
- Robert Tompkins

It's hard to say exactly when it happened, but gradually my want for conversation has become an increasingly important entity in my life. It is starting to dictate my decisions, to distort my sense of myself, and, is about to eventuate into a constant, droning, hopeless backdrop against with everything else occurs. It's starting to become all these things in the form a voice, a voice that is telling me that I am never going to find good conversation because there is something fatally flawed in me and that I might as well just face it.

I could go on about the people I have met who have somewhat measured up to some of all of my conversation-fantasy, but the truth is that the minutiae of many of my encounters aren't that interesting. Most of them start to seem the same in retrospect and eventually exhaust me. When they were taking place, each word weighed lightly. Maybe that is what makes them seem the same, in the end: They were not real.

So how do I live? I thrive off the memories. The way they used to listen, the things conversations used to say, the extent of their responsiveness; I would replay these details over and over, and live on them, use them as touchstones to brighten up my day in a bittersweet way.

I may seem like I am pining for a lost love, but what I really am doing is just trying to find my way back into the whirl of genuine social activity. This place is, after all, the only place - apart from Manhattan/London - I know of that moves at the speed of panic. So right now all I can do to escape this predicament is to distract myself with plans for the future. And that is something that I am attacking with a zeal that is beginning to border on compulsion.

x
Noise: Change Your Mind, Sister Hazel.

So you want to be a journalist?

2007-03-30T16:53:00.000+08:00

There are many things in life that I have wanted to be, and still want to be. A lawyer, an actress, a mom, a model, a wife, a property agent, a plastic bubble...

But then I get my hands on something like this, and I know what I truly want to be. I want to be a writer. I want to be a creative writer, I want to be a journalist. A humourous journalist. Maybe this is why all the writers that I have admired seem to have that common denominator; humour. Humour comes easily to some, but it's a little challenging for others like me, who seem to have a knack for 'the crimson blood curled in a velvety fashion' type of language.

Wit is mostly inborn, and it seems like the British are very blessed with it. Singaporeans tend to be a bit more... uptight, for lack of better word. We access and re-access what we write, what we think, what we say... and that kind of takes the originality and character out of most things that we say/do/think because we are just so desperate to be politlcally correct. Which could possibly be a reason why our media tends to be great at the news items, but not so entertaining when it comes to... entertainment.

Here's a great example of entertainment. Of writing, of humour, and of something in life that I want to be. Or in this case, write.

P.S. I got hold of this because basically the guy who wrote it was with Henry in Russia and Henry was there at GQ Bar with him.

------

Gentlemen's Food

By Mark Ames ( editor@exile.ru )
I'm a GQ man. As more cultured readers know, I've had a regular column in the Russian edition of GQ for nearly three years now. I'm handsome, stylish, confident, and successful. Men want to be me, and women want to carry the weight of my burdens. My elitist contempt radiates across Eurasia from the magazine's glossy pages, but it's not the mean-spirited contempt you might find in the pages of this free rag rather, my GQ contempt says, "What can you do for me?" and "I'll give you ten seconds to wow me, starting five seconds ago."

So you can understand that I was not displeased when I heard that GQ had opened its own 24-hour elitist bar/restaurant, appropriately named GQ BAR. Finally, my own secure place to escape the noise and riff-raff.

I had the mud-caked Moskvich gypsy cab I rode in drop me off about two blocks away from GQ Bar, located a block from the Balchug Kempinski hotel. A GQ man should have a driver and a Lexus SUV. Unfortunately, my Lexus is still in the shop. At least, that's what I've been telling myself for about six years now, and will continue to tell myself and anyone else for the next six years.

If I was a plebian rather than a GQ man, I might have noticed the fine details about the restaurant's tasteful interior. As a GQ Man, I barreled past the door goons with contempt, and they reacted to my contempt as they always do: parting like the Red Sea.

Waiting for me at the far table on the room on the left was a group of international publishers from the world of glossy magazines. I can't tell you about the substance of our meeting you probably wouldn't understand it anyway, and besides, what can you do for us? but I will tell you that our waitress did not know the difference between whiskey and bourbon. When I asked for "Maker's Mark" she grimaced as if I'd just stuck my thumb into her ass. Poor peasant girl, I hope when they fire her, they let her down easy.

As for food, I have no fucking idea what we ate or what the prices were. They gave us chopsticks to eat European dishes like Lamb's Tongue (which I didn't touch), gnocchi with kidneys (tasted a bit Kal-Kan-ish), liver with mashed potatoes (m'm-m'm! I felt like a Senator!), another plate of thinly-sliced flesh with a demi-glace which no one bothered explaining, and finally a plate of dumplings that looked nice, but lacked substance. Sort of like me.

The international publishing titans paid for my meal, so I have no idea what it cost. And frankly I don't care. If you're a GQ Man, you don't bother with such silly trivialities. In fact, you don't bother even writing a review that offers relevant details to readers. If you want that kind of information, go read one of those plebian magazines like Afisha. But if you want to live vicariously through me and to envy me, then re-read this review. Either way, whatever you choose, I really couldn't care less. I'm too busy being great.

GQ Bar
Balchug Ul. 5
956-7775
24 hours
Metro: Tretyakovskaya

------

x

Noise: Miami Ink on Discovery Travel & Living

When I see you.

2007-02-07T02:58:00.000+08:00

I have been so busy that my breaks are never real 'breaks'. They are usually a chase to fulfill (the remnants of) my social life or time spent reassessing my life and relationships.

With hindsight, I expect everyone to just know what I want, but I forget to realize that the loud reverberations in my head are just that - thoughts in my head. I think one of the most valuable characteristic that I have picked up is my ability to be honest. I tried the mind game technique once, and even though that gave me a rush sometimes, it eventually only led to grave disappointment and immense sadness. So now I've found that it is so much easier just to say what you feel, because we can all live with the hope that people know what we want, but chances are, they don't. I will apply my honesty and give the issues in my head a voice.

---

I miss serious conversations, about life and death and success and failure. I miss talking about me, talking about you and the thoughts that plague us. I miss watching you watch your surroundings, understanding your interpretations of the things around you, and witnessing your train of thought. We're distanced emotionally, and to me, the emotional aspect is worth so much more than the physical. Let's give our thoughts a voice.

x

Noise: Watermark, Enya.

Friendly grief.

2007-01-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

I think I am just sad because I feel like I am drifting away from the ones I've known because not only are we in different points in our lives but we have different values and beliefs and unfortunately, nobody seems to know the definition or boundary of friendship and nobody wants to adhere to them even if they did know the fundamentals.

Those wasteful, uncaring scuzzballs.

In other related news, I don't think I have ever been this longing for money. Sure modeling had those peaks but surely I can survive without succumbing myself to such meaningless labour? I understand that others in my age group may not have the allowance that I get but neither are they at a point in their lives that I am in. And I have already altered my lifestyle to suit my... less than normal amount (I refuse to say 'lack') of money.
So this new found 'desperation' has given me a whole new perspective on the true 'needy'. My friends – my scavengers -, we are scavengers, but yet in reality we are only poor because we splurge on $200 jeans. Ok, I don't splurge on $200 jeans but.. the others do. I don't think we/they really realize what it is like to be poor; to have to count your coins. If anything this has taught me not to use my words so candidly. It is true that your words have power. So today I will not say that I am broke, because to be broke is something I never want to be. It's nothing to be laughed about, it's an honest desperation that will only inspire frustration, anger and disconnection between parties. And I can say that that is not a very pretty time to have to go through.

It's funny how so few actually, really, genuinely care. And it's not just the let me sit down and nod while you speak care, but the... let me try and see how I can help, or oh look there is something I can do that can help you or... that kind of care. It is so rare, and I think it is sadly dissipating. You know what friends are? Friends are people who will offer you their home when you are running away from yours. Friends are people who loan you their life savings for you to build your life. Friends are those who offer you a job when you need money.
I'm obviously trying to say something but I don't know who reads this and I don't want to be so.. well, obvious, but this vague alternative isn't exactly coming out very well either.

I should just go back to the insecure industry. Nobody succeeds at being vague there.

x

Noise: Walk In Fire, Doves

P.S. There are no pictures because 1) my camera has just fizzled out and died (I have no idea how/why), 2) Henry is enjoying life in his fancy Mayfair apartment in London (he has a concierge! like in the movies! how excellent!) so I have no motivation to be... exciting, 3) I am so consumed with school, moping around and saving money that I have no time for anything picture-worthy and 4) I don't have $700 of disposable cash to get a new camera.

Waiting for sweet relief.

2007-01-14T21:21:00.000+08:00

Everybody around me is so tetchy today. I can practically feel them scratching against my skin. I've been barraged with irate henpecking, and the (supposed and dismissive) fatality of this situation has left me in a fit of pique.

I am stuck in the core of the doldrums, waiting for some relief, some outlet, some... anything.

Then there are those who scheme and lie just to pretend they are worth more. And those who go on and on about their successes, hoping I will say 'oh my god you are so cool let me worship the ground you walk on'. What is it with such vulnerability and insecurity and... immense naiveté? But the question really should be why I bother spending time with these wanting people. A part of me wants to 'rescue' them, but the other side says that they do not need rescuing, they need a good wake up slap.

I need to get back into my bubble of security and just shut myself off from these irksome individuals. Anger, frustration, cattiness and weakness make me physically sick.

Cursing, swearing and pretending does not solve any problems, does not make you stronger or feel better, and neither will it get you anywhere in life.

x

Noise: News.

Pride.

2007-01-13T00:37:00.000+08:00

How much does pride matter when you've been hurt by a friend but don't want to seem to desperate to tell them?

I'm midly offended, and it doesn't help that this decision (that obviously doesn't include me) keeps getting rubbed in my face by those who were included.

But I'm not petty, really. I must have just been misled. Maybe I place my friends in esteems too high, along with my expectations. Or maybe it's a really simple and innocent reason. Maybe they just forgot. Although that may be the worst.

I wouldn't know; I'm too proud to ask.

x

Noise: Zone Reality.

It's a crisp yet cordial morning.

2007-01-12T07:25:00.000+08:00

So I sit here, at 7.30am, in the middle of the business canteen with my cup of tea and sandwich, and type away to the rhythm of the classical music that harmonizes in the background.

I wonder why I don't do this more often - come to school early that is. It's so peaceful and cheery, even with the grey skies, glistening grass and chilly breeze.

It's a pity I don't have the chance to fully embrace this moment; such a rarity that tea and classical music alone can cut through my benumbed senses. But I've got an article to rush.

Blame it on the weatherman.

x

Noise: Classical, Media Biz.

Just Joy.

2007-01-09T01:36:00.000+08:00

The idea of happiness is about a few centuries old.. People from years ago (and today, too) thought that happiness came from 'things' that gave them a sense of purpose or feeling of elation. But today, happines is just a state of mind. The happiness that comes from within, the one we all seek after, is joy.

Joy is a sense of meaning and purpose and it serves to comfort and calm. If you just glance at our socienty, you will notice that people are looking for bigger, better cars, richer friends, 'cooler' contacts and bigger breasts. So few are happy or contented with what they have; the things they need. No matter how rich or how poor people are, we always want more.
I read somewhere that scientists have found that babies who smile or laugh a lot have a lot of left frontal activity in their brain.
Joyful people tend to have a lot more friends, and find it easier to get people to cooperate with them.
Optimists expect only the best, and so they perform better to achieve their state of happiness and impression of joy.
Some people are happy just by doing the simple things that they love to do on a constant basis.
Close relationships with a person also gives a sense of joy and happiness, as you feel connected to that person and know that you are thought about and loved.
Extroverts who surround themselves with people are usually more joyful. They find excuses to laugh and interact with others and this makes them happy.

Personally, I don't find happiness just by laughing or being humourous, as humour is fleeting and eventually gives way to the emptiness that was always there.
Happiness doesn't come from drugs, sex and alcohol. These things don't give anybody a purpose, they serve no meaning or function, and they don't comfort. So when you say, 'I'm happy' or 'I'm filled with joy', what does that mean? What do I gain by being happy if there is no joy?

Honestly, I don't know what happiness means to me because it is only temporary.

Joy however, is my strength. It is what keeps me going when I realize that without all the materials in life, I am nothing.
Because he is with me, and I am successful because he is with me. I can speak to the walls, and they may not listen, but he's always with me.

And in that Joy I find my comfort, I find my meaning and my purpose, and most of all I find the love and the peace that allows me to approach everything in life with equanimity.

Joy is the essential heartbeat of existence.

x

Noise: Skin and Bones, Foo Fighters.

We're dating

2006-12-31T02:08:00.000+08:00

The "ultimate mezza9 experience" was our choice of location, after much debate. I'm glad we made it there though. It turned out to be quite the experience, only because it was just us. I truly appreciated the alone time we had... and we aren't even married with kids. What is up with that! Living in different parts of the world is not so friendly when it comes to spending time with each other. But we work around it. :)

Me: A grand cosmo; selection of sushi; sashimi and maki roll; foie gras terrine with waxy potato and roasted pistachia salad, truffle oil, toasted brioche; double-boiled chicken broth with mushrooms and ginseng roots; yum hoi shell spicy scallop salad with coconut cream, mint leaves, lemon grass and deep fried chilli; shitake mushroom and lady finger yakitori; wood roasted boston lobster with garlic, chilli and parsley butter; m9 dessert platter and 9 piece m9 chochlate pralines.

Him: Bloody meat, wine... bloody meat... BLOODY meat!!

BLOODY MEAT!!!!! How horrifying is that...

But all in all it was a good time. Good 'chit chat' and unadulterated fun.

I hope you know somebody loves you.

x

Noise: Apollo 13, Tears.

In festal array.

2006-12-25T16:45:00.000+08:00

Walking alone in the heart of the city, Orchard Road. The rain beats down and there is not a single soul in sight.
Just me, and my Rain Magic.

Off to meet the one who gets the twinkle from my ticker.

It's the only modus operandi; the only way to go about filling the cheer without the chill in your bones.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

If anything...

2006-12-05T00:53:00.000+08:00

If everything could ever feel this real forever.

Just in my shell, looking out and waiting for redemption in a few days. I think I've grown to appreciate the practicality of emotions and love and sentiments. That said, I certainly revel in the security of being loved and being in love.

It's the innocent love and the raw lust.

Noise: Ooh La La, Goldfrapp.

Insatiable.

2006-11-25T00:48:00.000+08:00

He says, I miss you, you know.
She says (like she always does), how much?
He pauses.
He says, like the deserts miss the rain.

Such banality, but because she languishes after him, she chuckles politely.
But underneath that cliché she sees his sincerity.

Our two year idyll. Who said it was unattainable?

x

Noise: Think I'm In Love, Beck.

Foo fighting, summarized.

2006-10-09T10:58:00.000+08:00

"Exquisitely intimate, occasionally raucous and prompting everything from laughter to tears. If one concert can deliver such a range of emotions, surely it's proof of true brilliance on stage. Dave Grohl might have casually sauntered on to the stage of teh Opera House with an open-necked shirt – constantly chewing on a piece of gum that, somewhat miraculously, remained in his mouth throughout every song – but this was a convert that defined him as a true master of his game. Not simply because his songs (ranging from across the 12-year career the Foo Fighters) were piercingly good, but also because his own genuine love for music was inspirational.
Apart from the striking delivery of the songs, with eight musicions on stage including a violinist and percussionist, it was Grohl's story-telling that set this event apart. Apart from comic one-liners and tales about recording his songs acoustically, there was an intensely autobiographical side to this event which was surprisingly moving. When Grohl stood alone on stage towards the end of the show, gently telling his story about joining up with Nirvana - "when I met them, I thought, 'these two guys are just weird'," he said with a smile – it was breathtakingly intimate.
He revealed he'd written the song Friend Of A Friend (which appears on the Foo Fighters' current album) many years ago, when he was sitting in a room with Kurt Cobain. When he sang the song - clean and soft - it was heart-wrenching. Ultimately though, the concert was a joyous celebration for Grohl, of the way music has changed and shaped his life - not to mention his impact on many others."

x

Noise: Miss You Love, Silverchair

Raw Music.

2006-10-07T11:54:00.000+08:00

On Wednesday night, Henry, Mara and I went to see the Foo Fighter's acoustic gig at the Sydney Opera House. Now, firstly, let me say that the esplanade looks better than the opera house, but that's only because the design is newer. I live just opposite the opera house so it was about time we went and had a closer look.

I took mostly videos of their performance because obviously the flash didn't work, and non-flash images were so very shaky and blurred. I'm still trying to figure youtube out to try and post the videos.
The performance was absolutely breathataking. I literally had goose bumps from the pure... melody that came out of Dave Grohl. Would would have thought that the drummer of legendary Nirvana had such an amazing voice and so much skill. The entire two hour long concert was peppered with hilarious and some very personal anecdotes from Dave Grohl, and his showmanship was amazing. I felt like I was at a stand up comedy show at some points. You can see the chemistry that he and his band mates have, and it's so comforting to know that they're not those high-and-mighty sort who can't just sit back and have a laugh at themselves.

Dave Grohl did some performances alone, after the encore. He sang 'the best of you' - it was just him and his guitar. For those of you who have heard the song, it begins with 'I"VE GOT ANOTHER CONFESSION TO MAKE' - he literally screams it. He came on stage and unexpectedly belted it out. I was stunned because the whole evening he was just singing melodious... acoustic songs. Now whenever I hear that song I get the tingles (like Henry said). Unreal.
He wrote a ballad that he titled the beaconsfield miner's ballad and played it the night we were there because one of the miners were present. He was actually sitting just two rows behind us. For those of you who don't know, the beaconsfield mine collapsed some weeks ago, killing one miner and trapping two others (it was in Australia, of course). The two who were trapped were underground for days because it took the rescue that long to get to them. One of the miners, Brant Webb, asked for Foo Fighters on an iPod. Dave Grohl got word of this, and told triple J radio that once they get out, he would buy them a beer wherever he was. So on wednesday night, Dave Grohl and Brant Webb met after the performance for a beer. And Dave Grohl was quoted as saying that he wouldn't just buy one beer - they would go all the way. It's so real of him to do that, and I was very touched by that ballad that he wrote for them.

I can't really describe the performance so well, because my words won't do it much justice, if at all. So here are just some of the very memorable moments that night.

Hilarity:

- He was taking about how he likes acoustic performances, and that all their songs begin with just the voice and the guitar:
"I don't sit watching the tv with the f*cken' Marshall stack behind me."

- He was trying to get the crowd to stop yelling because he couldn't hear what they were saying, so he started out as if he were placating a baby:
"shhhhh... tsk tsk tsk shhhhh... no no no no, quiet, quiet. shhh shhh."
and then it turned into:
"shhhh.. no no no. hold it. *silence* ahhhhhhh."
as if he were having an orgasm.

- So the band was playing some 'background music' while Dave Grohl was talking, and halfway through his sentence he said:
"Here we are playing this f*cken' spy music..."

- Petra (who was on violin/tambourine etc) was very quiet the whole time, and would only end up laughing whenever Dave Grohl said something, and Dave said this about her:
"yeah you think she's very shy and quiet but she's the one later on who will be throwing TVs out the window"

- He was introducing Taylor Hawkins, the drummer, and how he was going to sing one of their songs. Then he said of Taylor:
"This guy is like the secret weapon you never knew you had. He's the drummer who can sing. It's like being in a street fight and then all of a sudden finding a wrench. Wait what the hell am I saying?! That doesn't make no f*cken' sense!"
To which Taylor replied:
"I'm the wrench!"
And Dave Grohl exclaimed:
"Ah you get it!"
Their Taylor-Dave banter continued as Dave Grohl said:
"I love this guy. I love this guy. I love you man (and Taylor's head was down). Look at me when I tell you that (Taylor raised his head slightly). I love you! (said really quickly - Taylor looked down). Look at me man... I wanna tell you I love you! Iloveyou! Iloveyou!"
And all this while Taylor is hitting the kick drum in regular 4-4 beat. Finally Dave Grohl says:
"Ha! I said it three times! And you looked me in the eye!"
So it really was a very relaxed... and funny environment.

- When he was introducing a separate song that he wrote when he first joined Nirvana (which is the song that started the In Your Honour album), he talked about how he ended up as the drummer for Nirvana. Basically he dropped out of school, and started touring with his friends - his idea of tour was basically the 8 of them touring in a 6 person van. Eventually, at one of their gigs (they were in a punk band, Scream), Nirvana watched it and Chris Novoselic (the bassist of Nirvana) told Kurt Cobain, "we need a drummer like that". Somebody heard this, told Dave Grohl and suggested that he give them a call. He did, but they said that at that point they had a friend who was playing with them at the minute. The next day, Nirvana called back and said "but you should come out and hang with us". They were at Tacona, which is near Seattle. Dave Grohl decided to move to Seattle now that Scream had broken up, and he describes Tacona as "the worst place in the world" because of all the paper mills. In his words, it was like "somebody had shoved broccoli up their bum and boiled it". He lived in Chris Novoselic's apartment which was basically an attic - Chris was 1.97m, and apparently couldn't even stand up in his own apartment. Nirvana already released Bleach, so Dave Grohl was their drummer from then on.

- Then Dave Grohl went to live with Kurt Cobain, and remembers thinking that they were just weird. He slept on Kurt Cobain's sofa, and remembers that Kurt Cobain used to keep turtles but never clean the tank. Because of that, the turtles (which were situated just next to the couch) would keep trying to get out of the tank all night and when Dave Grohl tried to sleep, they would go 'boom, boom, boom'. At this point, Dave Grohl kept walking into the mic while banging his head with it for effect.

- They filmed Big Me in Australia, and Dave Grohl mentioned it. Someone in the crowd then yelled out "which street!" and Dave Grohl replied:
"I don't know what f*cken' street! I just sit in my limousine and watch the world go by."
Later on, the "what street!" became a running joke when Dave Grohl told the audience that he was sitting in his hotel room when he composed the ballad for the beaconsfield miners. Someone yelled out "what street was it on!" (his hotel) and I can't remember what Dave Grohl replied, but I'm sure there were some curses. :)

These were just some of the many highlights of the performance. I would go through all of them but then Henry and I are just leaving to drive up to Hunter Valley for wine tasting and then to Ports Stephens to spot some whales/dolphins/hammerheads.

I really, really love Australia.

So to end this post off, here are the flowers that greeted me yesterday when I opened the door at home. From Henry, Happy Friday Afternoon. :)

x

Noise: In Your Honour by Foo Fighters.

Cairns, Port Douglas, and the Reef.

2006-10-07T00:06:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling slightly ambivalent today. Rather reflective, midly morose, convincingly content. I've been home all day today, just because I felt like it, and also because I was just so darn lazy and refused to get out of bed.
So my Henry has been at work, doing his rounds, saving the world of journalism, while I've been vegetating in front of the television. For most of the time, E! was on, but I wasn't really paying attention to what was going on on the tv. I just kept looking outside at my beautiful garden, at the calm blue water and the green, green grass, and thought about how in three weeks time, all this will just be a distant memory. I will be starting a new life in Singapore - with a new room, new apartment, new area, and this will be like a prepossessing dream.
In a sentence, I will be making my way back to Singapore very shortly. Away from this comfort bubble back to where I came from. It's almost like I'm taking a step back, which is what is slightly disappointing about it. Here I am, exposed to a life of my own, a life that I've taken precedence over and one that I am accountable for. I've learnt to appreciate myself and those around me, as well as ensure that I take nothing for granted - manners, service, cleanliness, the goodness of nature...

(Hmmm, the doorbell just rang, and since I'm at home alone and since I've been spooking myself out with all that crimelibrary.com and crime investigation nonsense, I didn't answer it. Five minutes later Henry called and I said someone rang the doorbell and I didn't answer it because I was 'scared'. He said I should open the door and check if anything was there because it could be the postman. I opened the door (with Henry still on the phone 'just in case') and there was a bouquet of the sweetest smelling flowers! The card attached to it read 'Happy Friday Afternoon, I love you, Henry'. Awwww. :) See it's the thoughtful and charming things like these that really remind me why anyone wants to fall in love. A misconception that people have is that romance just... 'happens'. It doesn't. A relationship requires quite a lot of effort, and even more honesty. Henry and I celebrate our 'anniversary' every month just because I think with our very hectic lives, it's necessary for us to appreciate each other at least once a month, and do something extra special. It could be anything from a simple dinner, or in most cases, some flowers and treats. But I digress. These flowers are such an appealing distraction.)

So as I said in a previous entry, Henry and I try to make the best of our time here. Every weekend we try and see something that Australia has to offer. Last weekend, we went to Cairns! So here we are, on one of our many fulfilling and *romantic* adventures. :)

Day One began with boxed lunch (pasta and beef salad), three krispy kreme donuts, and a three hour flight to Cairns.

We landed at the airport and the first thing that I noticed was the weather. It was so invigorating - I'd almost forgotten what 'tropical' felt like! Just being able to wear shorts was almost liberating. The resort we stayed at had a van come and pick us up from the airport.

The ride there was mostly 'documented' by my videos. I took videos of almost everything in this trip. Very amateur videos, but... I now understand why videos tell a lot more than pictures. The entire area constituted of green vastness to the left and right with hilly mountains in the background. The place was just a whole carpet of grass and farmland - it was covered in a blanket of peace.

By the time we settled down, the sun had set, and dinner was calling. Not sure where to go, we ended up at this respectable looking restaurant with very dingy looking food. The menu and decor diidn't look so drab, but when we were served it was quite shocking. But the desperation of the situation turned to humour, and we chose to cherish the moment where we would pay $20 for a plate of slice bread. ... Hmm. Totally different world. On the table is a brochure for the Poseidon - a tour to the great barrier reef. After dinner, we booked a tour for the day after to do some snorkelling.

Day two started out after a buffet breakfast. We drove up to Port Douglas where the sun was shining, and did a bit of water appreciation. After doing some surf skiing (yes, you read right, SURF SKIING), we rented this huge tube and basically pranced around the water like 10 year old children. I'm not complaining, because I absolutely loved it. I don't think I've laughed so much for a long time, or let myself go so far. It was the relaxation that I deserved. Yes, I deserved it. But most of all, it was a very special moment for Henry and myself because we were allowed to... just... forget everything and concentrate on each other, and most importantly ourselves.

Tired but content, we then returned to the car and drove out to the village to get some fish, calamari and chips for late lunch. But that was after I made sure we got a picture of the car (and me. heh).

Physically exhausted, we then went back to our hotel room where we had a little rest before heading back out to a thai restaurant for a very relaxed dinner. We had an early night in preperation, because the next day was Reef Day.

We were up at 6am for a day of exploration pleasure. We had our hearty buffet breakfast (as usual), and the Poseidon van came and picked us up from our hotel. We were taken to Port Douglas where the boat was, and then this picture was taken by their cameraman. Even though it's not entirely flattering, it is the perfect tourist picture. Just imagine the words 'Welcome to the Great Barrier Reef' on top.

We waited on board for awhile before heading off to the reef. Now. As a typical... tourist, I have never been to the great barrier reef, nor do I know much about it apart from what I've seen in the pictures. If you notice, the pictures usually tend to show an island nearby, or something. So I figured... well, we'll get on the boat and then we'll travel for about 10 minutes and reach this island where the great barrier reef is. Wrong. This wonder of the world is located right smack in the middle of the ocean. No, seriously, it is.

The Great Barrier Reef is this big plot of area, and there are multiple sites where people can dive and snorkel around to marvel at sea creatures in the crystal clear (and blue) water. In total, we went to three different reef sites to snorkel, and they were all amazing.

Our first encounter with snorkelling was at Shelly beach about two weekends ago, which is just outside the city. That experience taught us a little about snorkelling, so this time we donned our wetsuits, flippers and masks, and that was it. We were in the ocean. I started to panic very quickly because this is so different from a beach - you are literally surrounded by gallons and gallons of water. Even though the water is so clear, you can only see so far, and once I looked underwater, I could feel my shortened breaths and my tensed muscles. It didn't really help that I'd never used flippers in my life, so it took a very long time to just calm down and move my legs right. Of course, science will tell you that if you panic under water then you automatically sink - and I was really sinking. But! Some time after, I gained some composure and confidence, and went about my swim.

Henry and I had a underwater camera but haven't developed the pictures yet, so this is just one shot of us holding a sea cucumber that was on the sea bed. I can't believe we eat these things.

I took a video of Henry as he attempted to dive without equipment. He mentioned the pressure was too high (who would've thought, huh?) and after two attempts was pleased with whatever progress he made, and came back onto the boat. Hmmm. You can see he's got his diving shoes on, because he was wearing a much more hardcore flipper.

Three dives, a seafood buffet-type lunch and an overly tight mask later, we were marked. If you look at our faces you can see the snorkel mask's mark on us. That eventually did fade away, thank goodness. I was so tired, and fell asleep on the journey back to shore.

On the way back, Henry and I had a little ice cream, and once we reached our hotel room, took a very nice warm shower and Henry fell asleep. Shortly after, he woke up and we had a little self-pampering session.

Face masks! Can't go for a holiday and then not treat yourself with face masks, right? Besides, we were going to go on a 'nice' dinner (that's not to say the other dinners aren't nice, this one was supposed to be extra nice) that evening, so this was just like a prelude to what our evening had in store for us.

Wearing matching colours (I know, isn't it one of those extremely annoying thing that couples do...), we went to this amazing restaurant for dinner. Unlike the first night, this place had realllly good food. It did cost twice as much, but it was such a special way to end our day. We had homemade cheesecake for desert, and I don't think I've ever tasted anything as good. I was a bit apprehensive about finding a decent place at first, but I'm happy to say that this restaurant didn't let me down. A long island ice tea and two beers later, we were satisfied and that night I had such a good night's rest. The motion of the waves earlier that day did help.

The next morning, breakfast called. Here Henry is with round two of his mega breakfast, while I'm finishing up with my honey and pomegranate. It was like this for all our breakfasts - buffet breakfasts are a good incentive to get up early in the morning, even while on holiday.

After breakfast called, the wallabies did. Well, we went wallaby-spotting. Apparently there were some wallabies near where we were, so we took a little walk to try and find them. First a picture outside our resort room. Our room was on the second level, so in this picture it's actually just above my head.

This is a picture of the view just outside our room! First the view from our balcony, and then of me while we were there on the way to the wallabies. We stopped by to take a video of some tiny frogs - they were the size of my fingernail!

Finally, after climbing rocks and leaping over streams, we spotted a wild wallaby. A real one! The only other kangeroo we saw was... dead, as a result of roadkill (not by us of course) when we drove to kangeroo valley. If you look at this picture closely you'll see it in between the two tree trunks.

Happy that we'd seen a real life wallaby, we got ready to head to the beach. We brought along our bat and ball and had a few rounds of competition. I won, obviously (haha) but unfortunately don't have any pictures of us playing because I only took videos for that. We had some yoghurt and chips on the beach, and the walked back to our resort barefooted. The road was burning under my feet but it was fun - hopping from one shaded spot to the other. :)

It goes without saying that you can't pay money and stay at a resort without utilizing its facilities. Henry and I went to the pool at the last hour, and had lots of child-like fun doing somersaults and attempting to stand on each other. I know, we amuse ourselves very easily.

Like I said, it was the last hour. And so after that, we had to go back to the hotel and pack our bags to head to the airport. Here's a picture of our room (look mum, two beds!) and luggage and... stuff.

We took a long van ride back to the airport, and as tired as we were, were very glad that we got this chance to come to Cairns. It's a beautiful tropical part of the country and I'm so grateful that Henry and I managed to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city and truly spend some quality time alone, and just remind ourselves why we love each other.

So that was it. Cairns, Queensland. A breathtaking weekend and a treasured memory. We snorkelled in the Great Barrier Reef, played ball, surf-skiied, had good dinners, not so good dinners, and most substantial breakfasts. Most of all, we fell in love with nature, and each other, all over again.

x

Noise: My Fair Lady on TV

Foo Fighters.

2006-10-04T12:10:00.000+08:00

The last time I went on a real holiday, was last Christmas, when Henry and I went to England, so after a year, my memory of what it's like to really relax is very fuzzy. Last weekend, Henry and I flew to Cairns and spend 4 days and 3 nights just enjoying each other's company and the luxury of the beach and a hearty buffet breakfast every morning. I will detail our trip more once I get the pictures up (hopefully soon, but we all know how I am with my updates), but in a nutshell, it was such a well deserved break. We were so blessed to be able to just soak in the peace and not have to think about anything else - school report, jobs, my leaving etc -.

Apart from our holiday, I have also been trying to see if there's a way that I can stay in Australia for awhile longer, just because one of the magazines that I'm working for, Outdoor Australia, is going through a major relaunch that I would love to be a part of. I've written to the school to find out if they could offer me some advice on how I should approach this predicament I'm in (school starts on 23 Oct, and this relaunch happens over the next two months) but the advice I was given wasn't entirely helpful. I've since written another email to another lecturer and am just waiting to see what my options are.

This time in Australia has really taught me how to stand up for what I want, and that there is always some way around the impossible. I've also learnt how to take control of my life, and really be confident about approaching others. There is nothing to be afraid of, and I've discovered that it's better to ask and get a no, than to simply assume that the answer is a no. Just because, there is always a chance that the answer will be a yes. I feel so much more responsible and accountable for my life now - I finally have managed to manage my finances (ok, maybe not as well as I'd like to but.... it's a start) and even though I still cannot clean the house or do my laundry to save my life, I have kind of tried. Because of this new found confidence in me, I've decided to pursue what's best for me. Hence my emails to the school, to try and do something different. I've observed that the ones who are successful are the ones who dare to be different. Easier said than done, and more often than not, an overused cliché, but truly it's that drive in a person that reeks success. And if you notice, the ones who are successful and confident (and more importantly, content and happy) are the ones who don't worry at all. I don't worry at all. These seven months have cemented that. I really do not worry at all. I may not be rich, or perfect, but I have no reason to worry. Which is why I can send that email, and approach those superior to me with the right amount of tenacity and sureness.

Hmm. Ramble ramble. Been long since I last rambled. But! All that aside, tonight we are going to watch the Foo Fighters perform an acoustic set at the Sydney Opera House!!! Hurrahh! They're playing songs from the In Your Honor album, which is the only reason why I'm going to watch them. Personally I am not a fan of paying hundreds of dollars to see a bunch of musicians play just because the world sees them as 'popular', but the Foo Fighters are an exception because their In Your Honour album has sentimental value for Henry and I because we played that when we drove up to Palm Beach and then to the Blue Mountains. So it's a memory of Sydney and our time here and to watch them play an acoustic set live will just complete our time down under. I'm sad to leave but this will be a great way to leave. :)

In other news, yesterday was part two of my 'anniversary present' when Henry and I went for a haircut! It had to be a gift because there is just no way on earth that I can afford (or want to fork out) $100 for a haircut. ... Insane. But! Since it makes Henry happy, we both went down to Zenith last night for a good trim. I'm keeping my hair length even though I did consider going shorter, only because I really miss my long hair and do think it compliments me better. One day I will have a fringe, go bob, but that's only when I don't really need to depend on my looks for some extra income. When I go back to Singapore I've got to continue with my modelling part time just because I'm going to need some extra moneyyy. That's why I need to grow my hair back. Hmm.
It's a bit annoying how sometimes we just must do something in order to get something else. That's the way the world goes, I guess. But then, freedom of choice reminds us that there is always a way around the impossible, if you want it that way.

x

Noise: Might To Save, Hillsong.

Taronga, and more.

2006-09-28T16:59:00.000+08:00

So many things happen here. We try to go out and explore Australia every weekend, just because of our limited time here. Australia has much to offer, and we have a short while to enjoy it. That, and because of work, is why my updates are so sparse. But! Better to update later, than not at all. I feel at least.

Before we went on our other adventure, we celebrated Henry's birthday. I surprised him with a cake, and he was... surprised. Mmm. Just thinking about it makes my heart go all wobbly. Just because I did it out of lurrve. ;)

We went to the Taronga Zoo one morning. Took Mara's car and drove there even though we could have taken a ferry. Before we went, I asked around to find out what the zoo was like. Most people raved about it, so we expected quite a lot. In a simple sense, it was quite a let down. But! As always, we had tonnes of fun. There was a cable car ride that takes you above the zoo so you can see all the animals from there, and that was probably the highlight of the trip. So here are the pictures. It's timeless, since the taronga zoo will always be there! Oh, and we bought a little wombat soft toy as souvenir, and named him Taronga, of course. ;)

I'm updating because tomorrow Henry and I are going to Cairns for a four day three night holiday. Initially we planned to go to Fiji thinking it would make more financial sense, but after some calculations, it turns out it would cost the same no matter where we are in the world. But still wanting a tropical blue-water type holiday, Henry decided on Cairns. Last weekend we went snorkelling with our neighbour, JT, to Shelly Beach. It was the first time I'd tried snorkelling (in sub-zero temperatures, no less) and because Henry and I got so excited, he booked a trip to the great barrier reef on Saturday so that we can go and snorkel! :) The last time we managed to spot a stingray, a sea urchin and lots of other fishes. JT seems to know all their names but I... don't. JT took some pictures with his camera so that will be up in another entry. Hopefully we'll see some other wildlife in the great barrier reef! I'm really excited. It's likely that Henry and I won't be in the same country for our second year anniversary so this is the celebration, brought forward. He bought me a gorgeous turqoise dress for this month's anniversary, so we'll be using that at our nice dinner by the beach. :) Ooh... very excited!

But this entry is about Taronga Zoo.

So, here are the pictures. :)

Our first picture of the trip was Henry and his brief encounter with a just-as-curious duck. Say cheese!

Can't come to an Australia Zoo and not pay your respects to them kangeroos, can ya? I did a little better and got upclose and personal.

Our guide for the trip. Not a very good one at that... He was trying to find 'Wild Australia'.

Stopped by this little... chinese garden-esque thing in the middle of zoo. Don't ask me what it was doing there, but we always welcome a reason for a picture.

Took a little ice cream break and had a little fun with it.

We watched the seal show. Very different from the one in Singapore, but entertaining nonetheless.

Saw some gorillas...

And some lazy lions...

Spotted a nice photo opportunity (there's peacock in the background, I'm sure you can see it).

We watched a bird show (which was situated very nicely with the bridge for a backdrop), and I managed to get this shot of the sunlight and this massive eagle. It doesn't look so massive in this picture, but it really was a huge and pretty amazing creature.

Another pretty amazing creature is the one Henry is trying to emulate here. Awww. :)

Took the cable car, and this was the view from it. The next picture is the harbour, which was that backdrop of the bird show. I love Sydney for this reason. The warm sun, the blue waters... There's always time to appreciate.

My love and the harbour.

And a little bit of education on what bears eat, to end this animall journey off. :)

Well well well, and there you have it. This weekend we see animals of a different kind, in the wild, in the water. I'm really getting used to this appreciation of wildlife and nature. Kind of puts the world into perspective and shows you that it's not all about the money, the fashion or the concrete, although that is always inviting.

Noise: UKTV

x

Cont'd

2006-08-20T11:51:00.000+08:00

So this server stopped me from continuing my post previously. Here's where I left off.

Whaling.
Just yesterday, we wanted to go to NorthHead again in another attempt to spot the migrating humpbacks. Unfortunately, because we didn't and weren't going to spot any of them, plus the fact that there was this eternal traffic jam, we ended up at Bradley Head. But this is not about yesterday, this is about the previous whaling incident.
We drove the Ford Hatchback out to North Head. We've had so many cars this few months but haven't managed to take pictures of all those cars sadly so... we're trying to now!

Henry with the Ford

Endangered Bandicoots! I've never heard of bandicoots...

We also managed to admire this beautiful rainbow that covered the city. It was such an experience for me, just standing there staring into the vastness of the ocean on one side, and on the other, the harbour bridge and the city that is the Sydney I now live in.

After the non-existent whale spotting, we spotted some pelicans and decided to 'feed the birds' ala Mary Poppins. I've never seen such huge birds before! It all started out when Henry spotted the pelicans on the lamps along the road and I insisted we drive back to take a closer look. That eventuated into us parking the car and feeding them our sandwiches that Henry had made for our lunch. The poor boy woke up at 6 in the morning just to make it and it was gone in 5 minutes - to the hungry ducks and pelicans, no less.

He then ran to a shop nearby and bought a loaf of bread. That too was gone in record speed.

Till finally, there was nothing left.

That weekend, it was supposed to be Henry's birthday. We went to spot the whales on Saturday, and on Sunday, Henry started developing a very acute pain. To cut the long story short, I took Monday off work to look after him, and to take him to the doctors because he couldn't stand up or walk or... do anything really. Went to the doctors, got sent to emergency at the hospital, and this is how it ended up.

Keyhole surgery and some oxygen insertion into his nose later, Henry's appendix was out. He spent two nights at the hospital and ever since, has developed a lasting relationship with the joys of a bed.

Well, that sums up that weekend. He didn't go to work that week, and we later found out that our neighbour, Phillipa, had also undergone keyhole surgery to remove her appendix.
Needless to say, it was quite a meaningful birthday. There Henry was, on the monday of his birthday, in a hospital bed (the number of his age, actually). It was funny because he was born at 4pm, and at 4pm on his birthday, he was told he would have to undergo surgery (which he has never done before). Australia has quite the sense of humour to give him surgery as a birthday gift.

Noise: BBC World.

Hail.

2006-08-17T07:59:00.000+08:00

Two days ago, I witnessed hail for the first time.
It all began quite simply - the morning was particularly warm. I had two tops on and already felt so suffocated. Then in the afternoon, the sky darkened and a few wind howls later, it sounded like little pebbles were being thrown onto the glass windows of my office. Everyone gathered around to watch it fall - from where we were, we could see other curious onlookers from the buildings across us. It's hard to describe what it was like; the best I can do is... little ice balls? So here are some pictures for other hail virgins. I've only seen snow once, when I was in NY in Jan. Even then, I just saw the snow on the ground so this was so exciting for me - to actually be able to see it fall from the sky. It's similar to snow, but a lot bigger and more solid. Oh, and it really hurts when it falls on your head.

The initial downpour.

The surrounding area.

The Aftermath.

It's Christmas!

The bigger hail stones. Imagine that falling from the sky and landing on your head! Weight + Gravity = Bruises.

To end it off, I got to add an action sport shot. Just because I'm now some sort of activity junkie. :/

Oh so magical.
x
Noise: Settinig Sun by Howling Bells.

The Update... It's here. Sort of.

2006-08-03T19:20:00.000+08:00

FINALLY!
I have found something in me that has decided to post an entry.
It's not going to have many words, just pictures.
So... here goes.

Major events that have taken place since the last major event goes on as such.

My story in Elle was published, everything went fine and dandy. I'll post pictures of that another time. :)

I went to Brisbane:
Met Nat and had dinner at a realllly nice and cosy place called three monkeys or something. Brisbane is like Sydney, just with a lot more space less people. It was so nice to catch up with Nat though. It's times like that that you really appreciate all the effort you put into a friendshp because no matter how little you see of each other, you'll know that when you do it'll be like there was no distance in the first place.

It was my birthday:
Henry bought me this hugeee bouquet of Australian native flowers. The flower in the picture hadn't bloomed, but when it did it was so beautiful. He wrapped all my gifts and here we have the birthday flower, kind of like the Christmas tree. So all my presents were by the flower. Gifts included cosmetics (lots of it), Annie, King and I, Sound of music DVD (I'd been searching for them for agesss), a really gorgeous canvas print of us and little treats like manicure stuff and a toffee apple. :) My birthday cake consisted of a few small cakes, which was ideal - there was even a durian one!

Delish.

Birthday Area.

Art Attempt.

I cut my hair:
The next major event that took place was when I chopped most of my hair off. Ok, I didn't chop it. Henry paid $90 to some... stranger to do that. It was actually $130, but those lovely ladies who were gushing over Henry decided to give me a discount, albeit reluctantly - it was just because it wouldn't seem right if only Henry got the discount, right? So here are some examples of how I look now. Obviously that was some time ago so now my hair is slightly longer. It is true, your hair grows faster when you trim it. I haven't had short hair since I was in sec 2 (5 years ago) so this was quite a feat for me. But I figured, I'm in Sydney, life is good, so... why not? It's just hair.

Ooh.

Catching the Sunlight.

Ice Cream on my day out.

I attended the Hillsong Conference:
It was, in a single word, AMAZING. Maybe 20,000 people? When the people jumped to the songs, the floor vibrated. Literally. It was SO good. That final night was just awe-inspiring. It was particularly special for me because I've loved Hillsong's music for so long now. I started learning the guitar to their songs, I memorized the words... and their music and lyrics really had an impact. Here's a shot from the opening. There's more but... maybe later.

Look at all the people.

We bought our lorikeets some treats:
Some pretty lorikeets have been visiting our patio/garden area for awhile now, so after feeding them some bread, Henry and I decided to head to Woolworths to get them a lolly treat. Here's some pictures of the birds as well as us as we set up for our friendly visitors!

That's our porch/patio/garden/view.

Feed the Birds.

Friendly.

Fixing Up.

Final Touches.

We met Rachel Kum:
Friend from Singapore, and student in Perth. She and her mom came over to Sydney for a week's holiday and shopping and we met up with them for a quick hot chocolate and bagel. Check out my outfit - clad in snowboarding gear. I know, this action sports thing is really starting to affect me.

Oxford Street.

We went whale spotting:
Or at least we tried. The humpback whales and... this other kind of whale, well they're migrating and were passing by Sydney so Henry and I drove up to call them to come to the surface. Unfortunately... they didn't want to come out and play. :( But! We saw a lovely rainbow that arched over the city of Sydney and admired it from a distance, enjoyed the expanse of the tasmanian sea and had lots of fun making some new pelican friends (lorikeets and pelicans... Henry and I have a lovely social life).

Me - whale-spotting. Or not.

Yeah, we know, the whales are in the ocean. But the greenery was enticing too!

--- ---

Time out:
Something is up with my internet, it keeps saying that I can't upload anymore pictures. Hmm. Picture overload. Tomorrow, then. Or... next month. :)

x

Just Because.

2006-05-30T21:03:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, your heart can take a leap, while your head keeps its ground. It's times like that, that communication can be utilized to bring the heart back, or convince the head to take a chance.
At the end of the day, with all my levels of hindsight, I thank communication.
It's the saving grace that adds the chutzpah to my steps and brings the morning's misty smile.
Kudos to communication.
Just make sure you log and store.

--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---

Australia is great for now. Emap has been treating me better than I could imagine. Henry is the most gentlemanly and genuine person, I learn a bit more every day. My boss has been so kind. Melbourne on Thursday and Friday. And what do I do? I thank God for this favour; for letting me just cruise by life. Stress-free, that's the best way to be.

Alan Partridge and bed time now. Swimming tomorrow. 50 laps is quite a feat.

x

Noise: The Jay Leno Show on FoxTel

A quick and timely brief.

2006-05-29T09:47:00.000+08:00

The weekend before last: Blue Mountains. More on that later.
Last weekend -
Friday: 22km of mountain biking with the AMB team. Resulted in serious incapacitation and served as a reminder of why I do not exercise.

Lincoln Hall, the editor of Outdoor magazine (also my boss in a way) reached the reached the summit of Mount Everest on Thursday morning. On Friday, he was reported dead after suffering breathing difficulties just minutes after his summit. He was dead, and his team had to leave him there because there was no way to bring him down. I was so sad, because I've been looking forward to hear his stories. He lived in Singapore for a period of time and apparently has a lot to say about the place. It's also a sorrowful event when any man with a life of passion leaves. They're a dying species.

Saturday: Lincoln Hall is alive. As it turns out, a new group of climbers saw him alive, gave him oxygen and tea, and brough him to the base camp. Read more on: http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/05/28/1148754872626.html?page=2
I spent my day lazing around, relaxing my sore muscles and butt. Mountain biking is very harsh on your bum bone, and it doesn't help that I haven't got much flesh to ease the impact from the rocks and... hills and... ... Thinking about it is making my arms hurt.

After spending a significant amount of time in front of FoxTel and getting pampered by Henry (with food, drink, clean floor, clean laundry, a blanket for the couch...), we went swimming. He was convinced that swimming would help ease the post-exercise pain. Two minuses is a plus, and I did feel better. Sort of. So much better that today we are going swimming after work. Our gym is located just below the Harbour Bridge, so if we swim in the Olympic size outdoor pool, we're technically swimming under the bridge. Unreal.

Sunday: Woke up at 5am, at the airport by 6. Plane departed at 7am, and before I knew it I was on a commercial airline, making my way to Brisbane. I'm not going to further comment, save to say that I hate commercial airlines and made Henry promise he would never take me on some budget airline. Horrible!
Reached Brisbane at 8.30, took a $35 cab to the convention centre. Set up for the Snow Expo. Started at 10, ended at 4. Met Nat at 5 for a very lovely dinner at this rather intrinsic place called Three Monkeys. It had divine cake - Nat's NY cheese cake was... delish.

Back in a cab at 6, at the airport at 6.30, plane left at 7pm. In Sydney at 8.30pm. Henry picked me up and for a little drive. We were trying to find a place for me to drive (safely), but instead found ourselves at the Taronga Zoo. We spotted a few wild rabbits and after parking outside for about 5 seconds in an attempt to 'hear' the animals, we drove off to a harbour bay near Kirribilli and listened to the fishes jumping around, admired the city line, and tasted the wind. Henry did some of his... 'stunts' with his car (he was driving this Ford ... pick-up thing with some powerful engine or whatever) which resulted in me feeling sick. We sped home (in the most comfortable fashion), watched Alan Partridge, and went to bed.

Monday: Back in work at 10am. I am actually feeling rather perk and am looking forward to swimming tonight. The weather is cold, and in 45 minutes I'm having a 'welcome lunch' with the publishing director. That should be swell.

As I'm posting this while I'm at work, I shall add some pictures later on when I get home. The Blue Mountains entry needs an entire entry to itself, so I'll get started on that when... well, when I have the time/energy/drive/want to.

Noise: The Mr. Brown show podcast.
P.S.: In other news, my NY story is out on sale in Elle Singapore! And in case you're wondering, the pictures are tiny because they were taken with my camera and it's not some... professional camera. Just a humble, scratched and dented $700 Canon. Hmm, maybe I just didn't adjust it to take bigger sizes. Nevertheless, get your copy.

x

It's been a long, long time.

2006-05-11T19:11:00.000+08:00

Okay. I'm going to make this as comprehensive and as succinct as I can for the sake of my very interested friends (ha ha) and mummy!

The reason why I haven't exactly been 'around' is because a) I do not have MSN at the office. I should try and work around the system, I know. Hmm. b) I have been so content with coming home and watching the crime and comedy channel that there just seems to be no need to open this laptop other than to play my bubble game before I sleep. c) I've logged on to blogger.com before, but never got beyond the first sentence.

That all ends NOW, because I am adament about finishing this post, and finish it I WILL.

Right so let's see... where did I leave off. Hmm. So I was watching the marathon of Australia's next top model. The next day, we went for Michelle (Leslie)'s first fashion show (since released from the Bali jail) and met Michael Azzollini (the designer of the swimwear), and also the runner up for Australia's next top model, Jessie! It was so funny because I was rooting for her while watching the program, and the next day we actually MET her. Such things just.. don't happen. Azzollini also happens to be the 'Jay Manuel' of the Australia's NTM reality program, and as he met Henry on this boat party that was going on before I arrived, we managed to say hi to him too! He did say 'Oh so YOU'RE the girlfriend' to me, which did make me pleased inwardly. Nice to know my Rimmer is doing his rounds and spreading the word. Ha.

PICTURES!

Miche in all her swimwear glory. Oh she got a lot of press for this one, but rightfully so anyway. She does look stunning.

The next big occurrence was the 'dereliction'. Henry and I went through a "rough patch", and were basically forced to eat Hungry Jack's (aka Burger King) at a petrol station. I mean, it doesn't get worse than greasy burgers and Fanta Orange. But we embraced our forlorn plight with such dire (albeit feigned) optimism. After all, we WERE experiencing something new together. Kudos to couple exploration; don't we look pleased:

Something else relatively major happened. We've (mummy, Aus, and I) bought an apartment!! YAY!!! I will definitely put pictures up later on, but for now, we're moving to The Bayshore Park at East Coast, and everyone (well, almost) is very happy. It's on the 24th storey (I've always wanted high storey), we live in the East (my brother has this affinity for the beach and the East in general), we have 2 pools (I've always yearned for a pool!), and the only thing that we lack is a nice kitchen and washing area, which was mum's desire. However, what we have for a kitchen is pretty cosy, I think. Anyway. Mum and Aus are packing and getting ready to move in about.. June. All my clothing laid out on the floor:

And, all my clothing nicely packed (or shoved, rather) into the cupboard:

Much better, I know. But it really puts things into perspective. Must NEVER say that I have no clothes ever again. Because I have enough to start a business. Goodness.

Last Friday, it was FHM handlebar mustache day. The boys got their beards out - some did 2 weeks of prep, others, 1. Some just.. had no facial hair whatsoever. Scary. But this is how it turned out eventually. The fire-y thing was edited by the FHM guys - it's going in the magazine. Well, needless to say, Emap happy hour on Friday was most entertaining, with these mafia drug lord types patrolling the bar, and chugging down the occasional bear. Occasional. (Look at my Henry. Isn't he just so... yeah, english drug lord mob type-y. Ha.)

Friday was also the 'prize giving' day - the finals of the Super 5 touch rugby competition happened on Wednesday. Australian Mountain Bike (MY team) VS Tracks. AMB had never lost a game this season, till the finals. Boo hoo. Tracks, aka The Raging Homosexuals (goodness knows why) delivered their victory in a most stressful game. I found myself screaming in disappointment and vocally encouraging my team. Oh heavens. Me and touch rugby. HMM.
Cristian Campano from FHM was also referee of the finals, and had a fair share of verbal abuse thrown his way. In retaliation, he did the prize presentation on the TABLE at the bar: $300 of beer money and a trophy. The trophy was actually a... lamp. They stuck a picture of the Super 5 logo, and the team's name at the bottom. How creative. This is one of the Tracks members holding up the 'trophy'. See the cash?

Lastly, Henry and I had a quiet weekend this time. We had pizza night, and watched Love Actually because recently we've both been feeling rather festive; particularly Christmas-y. Just because it's 10.30 at night now and I'm tired, here's a quick picture of us and our pizza! Mine's the one that's covered with olives, Henry's got the tomato one. It was absoultely exquisite. Best pizza I've had for awhile, just because we could be so generous with what we wanted. Here's we go: Myself on one side of the counter, Henry on the other.

To end off this entry, I've decided to leave you all with a shot that makes me happy. Our slices of pizza, our new dining table, my laptop (to watch Love Actually on), and wine. It was such a gratifying and simply... lovely weekend, one that I will always remember as something indispensably momentousl. Lovady, I love you lovady. :)

x

Noise: Some hawaii type music from Roberto's laptop.

Happy holi-weekend Easter.

2006-04-17T15:07:00.000+08:00

Well well, it's about 5.30 on Monday, and I'm perched on the sofa in my favourite contortonist position with Henry at my side reading New Weekly, a gossip magazine. On the TV, is Australian's Next Top Model marathon, which is basically the reality series episode after episode, back to back, from 10.30am to 8.30pm. My dearest has been cleaning the house, washing the laundry, fixing fresh fruit juice, making me food, I mean... I truly am being pampered!

Yesterday, as it was Easter, we went to church at Darling Harbour - the Convention Centre - and after that, enjoyed a most gratifying Easter lunch by the harbour.

Henry enjoyed an entre of garlic prawn. He had this unbounded craving for it and even ordered some extra for his main dish.

While he satiated his craving, I had the most delectable oysters known to man. Well, they're all damn good anyway.

Moving on to the main dish - Henry and his medium rare steak which turned out not so bloody after all.

Myself and my rack of lamb. Mmm.. hungry now!

After that we ventured out and had a nice walk to the Australian Maritime Museum, where we bought tickets to go on this war ship, and into a submarine! A real submarine! I've been on these war ship type of things before, but never a submarine, so I was thrilled. Henry's also a submarine virgin so it was special to experience something new together in a new country.

Henry was very fascinated with the voice at the other end; near the bow of the ship.

Before we headed off to the submarine, we had to capture the attack and observation periscope (with me).

The inside of a submarine is... very constricting and the shifting of your weight due to the tide outside doesn't help either. Just to give you an idea of how diminutive the walking space is, this is Henry along the 'walkway'.

The 'control room' thing is amazing. Pieces of equipment decorated the walls, and there were buttons (and sleeping bunks) everywhere! The ceiling was low, the floors narrow, the torpedos were place next to some of the sleeping areas, it was just one big mesh of... clutter. I wonder how anyone can live in there for such a lengthy period of time (that particular submarine could stay under water for up to 6 weeks) and love it even. I'd go mad, but then that's just me. :)

After our long long day of walking, we cabbed home and enjoyed some hours of our new FoxTel, then managed to dragged our feet out the door to the club - Havana - to attend Jamie Wright's birthday bash. It was a... historical night, so let's just leave it at that.
Vintage chic, what is it? Henry says it's his lovely black and white stripe shirt and white tie ensemble.

They were giving out bow shaped chocolate pieces on a wire. This was mine, bitten into.

Well that pretty much summed up my weekend. Today we're just watching tv, conserving energy (ok, just me, seeing as how my house-boyfriend has been doing the work of a wife! heh heh, love you!), ordering Thai food for dinner and sleeping early. Work tomorrow! Yay!

Noise: Australian's next top model!

Inscribe your subconscious.

2006-04-16T17:46:00.000+08:00

It's been the Easter holidays, and many things have happened. I've had major food poisoning (which occured the night after bowling), and hence didn't go to work on Thursday. A night bent over the toilet floor isn't exactly the most glamourous yet alone enjoyable situations; my stomach was battered, my bones were bent and my spirit buffeted. Thankfully, I recovered soon after (after lying on the couch all day Thursday) and managed to drag my feet out the house, breathe in some fresh air and watch some heart thumping, knuckle breaking, bloody whacking Australian football aka rugby. My first rugby game. I'm going again.

Last weekend, we had an FHM shoot at home. Mara thought it apt to have our slippery couch act as prop for the most raunchy shoot I've seen to date. With several glamour models clad in only the most skimpy lingerie, along with several... toys on the coffee table, Henry and I were greeted with this when we arrived home, from church no less.

A shot of Henry really playing some serious touch rugby. FHM vs Action Sports. Who won? No idea. It was loads of fun though.

After touch rugby during lunch, it was bowling after work. FHM vs NewWoman, and myself - the honourary Action Sports player. This one's of the publication director, two newwoman women, and Chris from FHM... oh, and the food too!

Post/pre strike. I can't remember, he scored wayyy too many strikes.

Roosters VS the Broncos. Sydney VS Brisbane that is. Oh, we (Sydney) got trashed. :/

Real cheerleaders.

Lastly, a picture of us. Yes, he's been experimenting with the look of 'a beard'. Don't worry though, it's all gone now.

One more... During the course of my food poisoning night, Henry took off my necklaces that I hung on the door because he said it made lots of noise. He chucked it into a ball, and obviously, they all tangled up. This is him trying to reverse the process. Oh the poor boy.

More later.

Noise: Fox Tel. The greatest thing on Earth is having a million TV channels.
P.S. Speaking of Fox Tel, THEY BROADCAST DOOL!!! DAYS OF OUR LIVES!!!!! IS BACK!!! (And yes, even after not watching it for a year, I still know what's going on.)

x

On a much lighter note...

2006-04-12T07:37:00.000+08:00

Work is absolutely amazing.

It's my third day now and I'm slowly banding together.
Tuesday is Tennis day (where they... play tennis, during lunch) and Wedneday is Touch Rugby day (same, they play it during lunch). Friday they drink at the pub (aptly named 'henry henry', seriously) for 'company bonding' and over the weekends, nobody comes into work unless it's deadline week. Today 'my' people are playing against the FHM people so... should be good. Touch Rugby. Hmm. Imagine, me. ...

I have my own email (YAY! christabel.campbell@emap.com.au) which I have been lusting for for aaggeeesss, and my charming little desk. I work for Snowboarding, Outdoor, AMB (australia mountain bike) and whoever else needs some extra help. I have about 9000 songs to listen to, and colleagues whose company I'm fitfully beginning to dote on. Lawfully, work hours are from 9am - 5.30 pm (spectacularly short, I know) but nobody turns up till about 9.30. Yesterday I was in at 9 and the reception wasn't even opened! I had to turn on the lights so... you get the idea. It's nice. People don't work unnecessarily here, and still they manage to produce such amazing pieces of work with such a wide sales scope and readership. Also, in Singapore I went out to buy about two dozen shirts assuming that the dress code here would be like most places, but my colleagues (being the surfer/skater/mountain biking/snow boarding Australians that they are) turn up for work in board shorts, baggy jeans, t shirts, sunglasses and cap, and a very comfortable converse. I've since adapted the more relaxed style so as not to feel detached from the outfit flow. At lunch yesterday an intern from Greece (I stand to be corrected) turned up in a suit and it was... very irrelevant, to say the least.

Aside from work, the home has been good. Mara, our flatmate who is the Features and Motor Editor of FHM is such great company, and I'm already dreading leaving this place. It has also been re-established that Henry is one of the most pampering boyfriends in the world! Seeing as how he does my laundry, cooks breakfast while I'm in bed (fresh juice and eggs and toast... mmm), cooks dinner while I play PS or go online, fixes the bed (when he remembers to) and makes me nice baths. Ahh. Such overindulgence. Yes. :) I'm quite useless when it comes to cooking and such so it's good that he is... inclined and one with cutlery and the mechanics of a kitchen...and house...and broom...and washing machine... and... etc. etc. etc.. We've also started having these conversations before bed and slowly I'm beginning to see how to not only make things work but make it truly glorious; a life experience.

We've been watching Harry Potter - done with the first two and now we just need to move on to the next one. This weekend, due to Easter so we have (Good) Friday and next (Easter) Monday off; it's going to be one long long weekend! As much as I'd love to pop by Melbourne, we're probably going to spend our long weekend sleeping and watching dvds. :) My church (Hillsong!) is going to have some.. thingy on on Sunday so we'll do that too.

Well. This is a much more stoic entry than the one before. My dad is just making things difficult, and after 9 years of this it, in reality I shouldn't be affected anymore. But sometimes you just can't help that elicited upheaval. Sometimes.

x

Noise: Understand this is a Dream by The Juliana Theory.
P.S. Pictures, they come later.

Dad, who needs you?

2006-04-11T19:49:00.000+08:00

My father is such a fucking... FUCKING... IDIOT.

FUCKING. FUCK.......... OasdasdfsdkjfksAHEF:JShflUEHR!!!!!!!!!

Argh. When I'm older and RICH I will drive past his SHACK in my FLASHY car and SPIT on him.
WHO the fuck does he think he is! Fuck! He is asking for my passport because I am here, saying that I am not able to live alone because I am underweight! I've been underweight all my life and now I'm finally of acceptable weight and NOW he fucking complains about it! What the hell! And.. and.. UGH.
Angry.

Bastard.

So angry.
Internally seething with anger.
Wearing a smile.

Fuck.

Noise: Mother on the phone

Welcome. This is Sydney.

2006-04-09T15:39:00.000+08:00

After appropriately using up all the tissue paper available on the plane for my leaking nose (kudos to sinus, sniff sniff), I finally arrived in Sydney - my home for the next 7 months. Of course, seeing my dear Henry after 3 long long long months did contribute to (if not totally consume) the trepidation factor. Like I told domi, it was 'weird at first', but now it's better. After that whiff of aftershave, I was back at where it all started; with me weak in the knees. It's the seemingly insignificant things that add up to something so much greater, a fortiori, on a whole different spectrum altogether. Standing at the arrival hall with rose in tow, was the moment I had probably tried to play in my mind over a million times. Needless to say, it turned out nothing like I expected, owing to the fact that the airport was nothing like I envisaged, more of like a gigantic supermarket. Well, great for Sydney! Also, never in my wildest imagination would I have seen Henry in a BRIGHT METALLIC ORANGE car.

So it's a Holden Monaro. It's got a seven gear box, it's a 6 litre v8 monster with twin exhaust things. Basically for all those who aren't car-educated, it's some kind of racing monster that actually does purr very sweetly. That's Henry packing all my luggage in. Yes, all 35kg of it. ...

After I landed we cruised along to the South Head, which is the mouth of Sydney bay. Blue water. So so blue.

Well, since I'm at it, I'll just sum up how my week has been in general. Henry took Monday and Tuesday off to basically help me adjust to the.. well, culture and place and catch up too. We drove to Palm Beach, where we had lunch, buried our feet in the sand and pretended to be heroic voyagers on an expedition - to scale the rocks, basically.

On the remaining days of the week, I went down to town. Ok, so i've also swept and mopped the floor, done the laundry... and since it is SO out of character, I've rewarded myself with days in town. It's such a pleasure just wandering around the streets with my delirious obscurity, peering at the quirky Australians, while munching on sushi and chips. Of course the shopping is absolutely divine, not to mention the amazing weather to tide me by. What better way to enjoy a day of shopping than with the gorgeous horizon, some wind in my hair and a mega beef burger. Hmm.

I take a ferry to the train station every day, because we live across the harbour bridge from the city. So this is the view I wake up to almost every morning.

And lastly, just for kicks, my mega beef burger and I. Who would have thought I'd be able to consume something so colossal. I think I might return with actual body fat. YAY!

Noise: Red Rain by The White Stripes.

And we're off! (well, just me.)

2006-04-07T14:03:00.000+08:00

My lovely scavengers were there to send me off, I didn't expect anybody (apart from the family)!
But it was great because I felt so loved. Thanks guys for coming down. Truly means loads to me.
And Meibao my fellow scavenger, Happy belated birthday!
Hope you liked your very EXPENSIVE soccer ball as much as I did my very EXPENSIVE ... chocolate.
Oh yes, did I mention? I received a gift of a...chocolate.
True Scavenger style, too.
Also a bit of an interesting farewell because I presented mum with a diamond bracelet. You don't need a reason to pamper someone. I guess it's just my way of expressing my love.
Now, pictures.
x

My chocloate, and Ping.

Mabel's surprise: Nice cake, and... soccer ball. Signed by us aka el cheapos. :)

Pinggy prepping for Mabel's 'SURPRISE'.

The birthday girl cutting a piece of cake.

My Scavengers.

Family; what we live for.

Noise: Good Paradise, by PJ Harvey.
P.S. Ok guys, I cannot post up ALL the pictures because it would just be totally redundant. I mean, that's what the scavengers blog is for! x

Girls night out.

2006-04-03T19:52:00.000+08:00

Kelly and I prepping in the lift after leaving her place.
David Chin, your absinthe will be missed.

Jimmy and the ladies.

Pucker up! Maybe not...

This one's for you JESS! And Juli.. and Ping.. and.. and.. all you female bodies. Blu from Cebu on the left.

I can almost hear Cash's... 'Where's... the.. sunshine....'

Model smile... :)

View from below.

My capo de fusca!

So it was my last friday night for a long while, before I jet off to Sydney.
There's nothing much to say, except that Kelly and I did what we've not done for a long while.
Go out together, just the two of us, drink, dance like crazy, till the small wee hours of the morning.
Thumper, Attica, Living room. Home at 7.30am, school at 9.
I must be crazy. Or, leaving for Sydney the following night.
So this is it! My last visit to the party scene for the next 7 months.
See ya'll in Sydney.
x

Noise: Still by Foo Fighters.
P.S. Updates are taking ages because I've no wireless yet and this stolen one fluctuates more than I'd like.

Triumph.

2006-03-31T00:47:00.000+08:00

Gorgeous, feminine and innovative fashion and support lingerie garments fllooded the runway with such diversity in inspiration. Clearly, the orient and sailor-chic looks were stimulated and presented in their most dominating fashion. The only thing that was wanting this year would have to be that extra ounce of oomph. Where were the Vespas, the dogs, the topless-with-just-a-teddy-bear loud statement-making choreography? I guess I was just disappointed.

It felt so strange, being there and remembering going for this same show with Henry last year, with Kelly too. And Roberto was doing the show and he stole the limelight because he was cheesed off with the client. Then we made our way to Nude bar at Indochine for the closing party, and we took the picture that I now have in my wallet.
I missed that, having champagne, feeling a little bit more special than normal.
Doesn't seem like it's been a year.

Austen (my lil' brother who's probably not so little seeing as how he's 16 and towers over me at 1.88m) and I went to catch the Triumph show for this year's Singapore Fashion Fest. I normally wouldn't have had the time to, but I was curious to see how they would top last year's show, and since Aus had been asking me to get him into a fashion presentation, I figured: why not?

Tonight was special in it's own way. Austen was introduced around, and they were so in awe of his height. Apart from walk-pose-walk show, it was fulfilling. After that we mingled around for awhile before finally heading off for food and then walking around town. Met Mom at church after that, and signed some insurance papers for my Sydney trip. I leave this Saturday by the way, Sunday morning to be exact. 12.30am.

Excited?
Just waiting with fervent inspiration.

x

Noise: 93.8Live. Topic's cross cultural communication. Hmm.
Picture: Henry, myself, Kelly and Roberto. I've just changed laptop so the pictures are few.

Old skin.

2006-03-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

It was relative day today.
I went a-visiting my grandma and uncle, godma and grandaunt. They're ok for a dinner, but slightly more draining for anything more.
Some grandparents may be endearing, but the pessimistic ones are just exhausting and repressing.
I used to wonder why some of me peers would politely but grudgingly acknowledge their grandparents, but then I'm in no position to say anything, seeing as how I only see mine once in some moons.

It was most unpresumptuous though.

Slightly nostalgic.
Been having a lot of that lately.
I live for it.

x

Noise: CSI on TV.

And so the story goes.

2006-03-28T03:51:00.000+08:00

A recap of the past to lay down the red for the present.

The question is:
Are we being too quick to judge judgement?

'Judgey-wudgey was a bear'. I think it’s pretty much agreed that it goes—Open minded: good, Judgemental: bad. But are we being too quick to judge judgement? It might not be so bad. Perhaps judgement isn’t so much a snap decision as an early warning and detection device. If it is instantly clear that a person, a place, or even a profession is not for you, is it better to ignore your better judgement and read between the lines, or should you judge a book by its cover?

Post judging, it’s odd but when it comes to all things with heavy weight age: i.e., love and life and all things in between, why do we believe in our worst reviews? Why is it that we always believe in the negative people say about us, when there is always evidence to the contrary? A parent, a neighbour, a past relationship, can cancel out everything we thought was once true. But as it turns out, even the most together-women, and men for that matter, can’t keep it together when it comes to love for the sole reason that just below the surface, we’re all raw and exposed. Do we fear that too much? And why aren’t we satisfied with that notion and all that is presented to us?

Usually we are looking for a great job, and place to live, and of course someone to share it all with. So let’s say you have two out of three, and they’re fabulous. Why would we let the one thing that we don’t have affect how we feel about the two we do have? The reality is, there are some things people don’t admit because they just don’t like the way it sounds. Like, I have a former wife, or I’m feeling distant. Me? I’m very much in love but there is a wall of distance, and the itch is palpable.

Noise: Whirls in my head.